Needed
by V.Johnes
Summary: Sequel to "Dream a little dream of me" We all want to feel needed from time to time.


**Needed**

 **Disclaimer: I (sadly) don't own Designated Survivor or The West Wing and it's killing me!**

 **A/N: Sequel to "Dream a little dream of me" We all want to feel needed from time to time.**

 **Enjoy!**

He took marine one to Camp David the same night; he dropped everything on Emily and Jed and flew to be with her. He knew the optics were bad and with election year rounding up he also knew that Bowman, the probable Republican nominee, would drag him to the end of the world and back. The optics were terrible but Alex needed him to go to her and that was far more important than a stuck up senator, wannabe president, from Montana.

And right now, laying on the bed with his wife there, by his side, her breath on his neck, her arm dropped around his waist he couldn't care less about what people think about him. Because he knows that no one would bother if this wasn't election season. He hadn't taken a day off since he was sworn in, the only president with 0 vacation days in almost 3 years in office. They could live with him flying to Camp David on moment's notice because his wife needed him!

"Tom?" her voice startled him a bit, he thought she was asleep.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you still awake?" she leaned up looking, her head on her hand, looking at him with the same look she had, she always had. And he noticed, just noticed for the first time that she looked like her old self, the circles under her eyes gone, the hollowed eyes shadow of his wife that was sitting curled up on the couch in the living room for weeks after she came home was gone and finally, he was staring back at his wife.

"Thinking" he responded, his left hand softly touching her cheek, she leaned in his touch closing her eyes and drawing a deep breath.

"You still need me right?" her voice was soft, so soft he almost missed it but it was there, in moments like this one when her guard was down he could see some of her insecurities seep through.

"I'll always need you Alex. Every day of my life, every hour." He leaned forward his forehead touching hers, her hands wrapped around his neck, her fingers playing with his hair.

"Good because I need you too." A smile grazed her lips taking him aback, he was used to her faking smiles in the past weeks, her lips were a bit too tight and her eyes never reflected anything, not this time though, her lips were softly curling upwards, her eyes shining, and not with tears, the moonlight hitting her face, this was truly the most magnificent sight in his entire life.

"We should talk though. About what happened." His smile slowly dropped, he knew they had, he had talked about everything with Jed and Cornelius they were the only ones that could completely understand everything he was going through. He had to especially after Penny found him passed out from drinking in his private study. As his mother in law told him breaking down is not an option. Therefore he started processing the loss. "We should Alex, when you think you're ready, we should talk."

"I'm ready." He felt a lump on his throat, he told himself he was ready to talk about it and in a sense he was, but with Alex? Was he ready to talk about everything with her?

"Alright." He barely managed to get out. Apparently ready or not here we go.

"I really wanted this baby Tom." His heart was breaking; he knew that, he wanted this child so much as well.

"I did too, I told myself I was fine with Leo and Penny and for a while I was, but then… then you told me about the baby and all I could think of is how much I wanted that." He sat up pulling her closer to him, he knew the tears were wheeling up in both of them and he wasn't going to hide it.

"So should we try again?" such a soft question made his heart stopped, he wanted that, for sure he did, but were they ready for that?

"Alex… are you ready for this?" he asked her, he could live with not having another child ever with her but losing her, pushing her to recover faster than she was ready that wasn't something he could live with.

"I talked to a doctor, Abbey arranged it for me, I didn't think I'd ever be ready but I am. You know what I dreamed of last night? And the night before that, and pretty much every night here and a week? It wasn't of the basement, or the miscarriage, I dreamed of us, Penny and Leo playing in the pool, laughing, splashing each other, Jed and Abbey were fighting in the kitchen because he wanted to cook, Zoey and Charlie running with their kids, Elizabeth and Eleonor out hiking with their husbands, CJ and Danny were sleeping on the hammock, Toby was trying to teach Seth jokes, Willie laughing at both of them with Emily and Aaron. I was sitting at the edge of the pool, you were standing there, between my legs, your ear on my belly trying to listen to our baby, getting kicked by her, or him. I was happy Tom. When I woke up I was happy. I want that." He looked at her, the tears he tried so hard to keep from falling now rolling down his face uncontrollable, it was a nice picture, the one she had painted, it was really picture perfect and it pained him that he couldn't guarantee to give her that.

"If you think you are ready then we should. We should try and get that." He told her managing to smile through his tears. And the smile she rewarded him with was enough to make him ready to fight the world with bare hands for her.

 **A/N: The next is the happiest of them all.**


End file.
